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Daisybo NC Diary
(459 posts) (49 voices)-
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Posted 3 months ago LoveConquersAll
offlineMemberHi Amy.
All credit goes to you. When I first came to this forum you were the first one to reach out to me. So I am just paying if forward. Grats to you for Staying Strong. I remember wanting to be where you were when I first joined "the club" a month ago.
Posted 3 months ago #-
daisybo
offlineMemberOK so this weekend was really hard. I saw some mutual friends, i have stayed away from them since the split. My ex is starting to get back in touch with mutual mates now. It is hard cos they tellme about seeing him, and his new gf, and how they dont like her. But what they have said is that they don't think he is happy, that they think it has hit home what a mistake he has made and that he doesnt know what to do. I am being encouraged to get in touch with him, as he seems to think he has burned all his bridges. I have drafted another email as that is my only way of contatcing him....please can you all let me know what you think...it seems i need to show him i have not completely forgotten about him but i am really wary as i do not want to chase him and push him away.
Hi XXXXXXX, hope you are ok. I hear you have a new puppy, would love to meet her. I think you should bring her over to see her sister! Would be cool to have a quick catch-up, unless you are still in a grump with me! What do you think?
Posted 3 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 3 months ago anna_a
offlineMemberI think it's a great idea... but perhaps:
Hi XXXXXXX. Just thinking of you. I hear you have a new puppy, would love to meet her. Would be cool to have a quick catch-up! Let me know when you are free.
Check with others... but I think we are on to something
xxoo A
Posted 3 months ago #-
Mags
offlineMemberWait.........
Give him more time to miss you.....especially if your mutual friends say he is unhappy....don't want to make him comfortable thinking if it doesn't work he can come back to you just like that...even though that isn't how you are thinking .......just don't want him to think that......to me his reality needs to sink in big time...and it sounds like it is happening.
Let this reality hit him first and let him be miserable without you......but that is my opinion and my opinion only.Then if you send that.....take out the thinking of you.......because it's a given if you are sending that to him....
I might even take out the "would be cool to have a quick catch up.Hi XXX
I hear you have a new puppy, would love to meet her. Let me know when you are free.Might be "safer". At the same time anna_a is pretty good with her advice.....just giving you options.. but I do think her version is better than yours. Actually after typing this I think Anna's is better. The time factor is what I'm not so sure of.....
Posted 3 months ago # -
anna_a
offlineMemberha - yes, I think you should wait a little while daisy.. Maggie has some good advice too.
How long has it been? Two weeks, since that angry visit. Maybe wait another week.
You sound really positive and in control, let's hope he has gained a little peace also.
x Anna
Posted 3 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 3 months ago daisybo
offlineMemberI can't get his number JJ without his permission, and i think he would think it was scary if i got it! Ok i have waited this long, shall i leave it until after xmas, let him have the holidays with his new life, then if he is happy and doesnt want another go fair enough, or it may help him realise what he has lost. Thanks for the input guys i am just a bit confused as to timing. x
Posted 3 months ago #-
KC
offlineMemberAgree with everyone above. Give it some time. And if you send a mail, I think Maggie's version is the best. Just polite and formal with the slightest hint of interest. You have come so far its better to wait for it to work out just the way you want it.
If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best. - Marilyn MonroePosted 3 months ago # -
anna_a
offlineMemberI think you should give it some time, but I have a hunch to do it before christmas day. Another week or so won't hurt.
And... do you have to say anything about the puppy:
Hi XXXXXXX. Just thinking of you. Would be cool to have a catch-up before Christmas! Let me know when you are free.
(forget the puppy, it may be a "see-through" excuse.)
Check with others and make the perfect decision
xo Anna
Posted 3 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 3 months ago -
daisybo
offlineMemberNo i really am going to leave it for now. Going to enjoy xmas and my birthday and see what the new year brings. I had an absolute meltdown this weekend which really shocked me as i have been feeling so strong. I am worried as i got drunk and dont know what i said to mutual friends-suppose the worst i could have said is i miss him. Not end of the world. But i am going to plough through this. He has xmas, my birthday and his birthday to get through over the next few weeks, i dont think me trying to get in touch will help. If he is in a mess, which i think he probably is (or i am in denial!), then he needs time to think about what he is going to do. I am not going to push him. If he is happy then he will decide to make a go of it. if he is miserable then he has to get the guts to do something about it. I just hate waiting for the inevitable though, he still has a key he needs to return to me and bits he has left in the shed- it is like he has left them on purpose so he has a link to contact me if he wants it. Again, maybe denial! I am reassured as my tough friends are v supportive and if i was being an idiot they would tell me so. it can send you mad trying to work out what the exes are thinking! and i need to stop NOW. It is difficult but i have to do this to get on to the next part of my evolution. it is especially hard when nothing makes sense....he was desperate for the money, but the cheque has not been cashed from 2 weeks ago. you go figure????!
Posted 3 months ago # -
Amy
offlineMemberHow are you daisy? I'm kind of throwing my hat in the door first.....I hope you're ok. If I could kick his ass for you I would. I'm sorry if I'm being too opinionated but I can't help but think he's not good enough for you. Someone out there is better and when this guy finds out you're with someone else he's gonna feel the loss badly. By then it's gonna be too late for him to change things.
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."Posted 2 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 2 months ago -
daisybo
offlineMemberStill feeling the need to get in touch with him. Been in NC for 4 months now, last saw him 3 weeks ago to sign the house papers. Think the time of year is getting to me a bit. Over next 2 weeks it is xmas, both our birthdays and new year......i am thinking this may be a good time to get back in touch. Or is is better to let him miss me during this period.....? But then he may not miss me anymore.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Amy
offlineMemberDaisybo, I wish I could tell you something....i think you need to ask Scott by private message too, not just the forum. He might ask you some questions and have more insight. This time of year has been a curse as well as a blessing for some. I read his article on the holidays at times work to our advantage.
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."Posted 2 months ago # -
daisybo said:
Over next 2 weeks it is xmas, both our birthdays and new year......i am thinking this may be a good time to get back in touch. Or is is better to let him miss me during this period.....?I say let your ex miss you during the most emotional holidays of the year...and if they don't miss you then...they don't really miss you anymore.
Now you have your answer to the question...do they still think about me?
In any case who fucking cares, right?
It's a new year with new knowledge...someone even better will be waiting for you out there.
Posted 2 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 2 months ago daisybo
offlineMemberNot had any internet for weeks! Anyhow, here is my update......
I stupidly sent my ex a drunken email on my bday shortly before xmas, telling him that i had a fab day and wishing him a merry xmas. Heard nothing. So on 30th i sent him another email, apologising and wishing him a good new year. He respondedn, telling me about his new puppy, saying there are no hard feelings and wishing me the same. He then emailed again saying he wouldbring back the house key the next morning. I was shocked!
So he arrived as he said he would, I made sure i looked great. He said that he no longer had a house key and was not sure why he had sais he would bring it back, and that he had been a bit tipsy when he sent the email. He said he had thrown it away in temper weeks ago. I laughed and was bubbly and happy. It was nice to see him and he stayed about half an hour. He seemed pleased to see me but nervous and a bit awkward. He brought his new puupy with him and i made a massive fuss out of her. He was showing off a bit! When he left, he just said it was lovely to see me, to have a good new year and he would see me in 2010.
That's it. He didn't say anything about us, and nor did i. But i am intrigues as to why he appeared on my doorstep on new years eve with his puppy, when he had no reason to.
I have had a great xmas and new year. Some days i really missed him but i feel good today.
Posted 2 months ago #-
daisybo
offlineMemberIt is good because I have held it together with him, and make sure i always look and act as well as i can. But......he is till living with another woman at the end of the day. Wonder what she would say if she knew he turned up on my doorstep on NYE?? i can't read him at all, his behaviour confuses me.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Anonymous
offlineUnregisteredYes that definitely would confuse me too daisybo. Keep strong during this period you have been an inspiration to me really. I missed when you went away. Happy Holidays too.
Posted 2 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 2 months ago Scorchio2211
offlineMemberHey Daisy, long time no speak. How's my favourite dumpee?
You already know what i think. Anyone who gives up a girl like you is a complete loser. Drop him and find some one who's worthy of you. I reckon there must be a queue of men looking for a girl like you, and at least one must be ok. And seriously, i reckon that's good advice.
But i hope you're having a great new year and i hope you find happiness this year.
Give a man a match, and he'll be a little warm for a minute. But set him on fire, and he'll be red hot for the rest of his life.Posted 2 months ago #-
daisybo
offlineMemberI hear you scorchio, i really do! And yes things are good thanks (apart from the ex obviously!).
I am on the lookout for somebody new but it is not easy to find someone i think! and i still love the bloody ex-hence still here! Thing is, i think he feels the same but is too much of a coward to do anything about it. I think he feels he has made his bed and has to lie in it. I could be wrong as he has not said anything but there was electricity between us when i saw him on NYE. Going to try to arrange another meeting in a couple of weeks if i hear nothing from him. If he does not agree or it doesnt go well, time to shut the door.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Amy
offlineMemberYou're so strong Daisybo. I respect that. When I get moments of weakness or feeling bad, I look to your posts. It tells me that we can survive this!!! You're still standing girl, don't forget that. If the exs are lemons, they can be someone else's long term asshole.
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."Posted 2 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago daisybo
offlineMemberFeeling pretty exhausted with all this today, frustrated that he has not been in touch since NYE. It is wierd i genuinely believe he is unhappy and i also really believe he will come back in the future. Maybe I am deluded but i do honestly believe it. In meantime getting on with things and made some big plans for this year, so plenty to look forward to. Just wish i had a crystal ball! I do go through this impatient phases!
Posted 1 month ago #-
daisybo said:
In meantime getting on with things and made some big plans for this year, so plenty to look forward to.Great Job Daisy! (Thumbs High)
daisybo said:
I do go through this impatient phases!Maybe this is something that needs to be worked out through your personal evolution.
Break ups happen for a reason, but it doesn't mean you weren't meant for each other...it just means you were at different places, and couldn't see eye to eye yet.
If you love someone you have to be patient.
Love rewards patience.
Stay Strong!
Posted 1 month ago # -
Surfiechick
offlineMemberWow - karmic or what! Just finished posting for today on my NC diary and wrote that my personal evolution needs to focus on improving my patience. Came here straight after and saw this.
Definitely some good vibes going on around here. Stick with it Dasiy - we can do it. Focus on you - have patience - and good things will result. I believe it. Have faith.
Stay Strong!
you cannot choose how people treat you but you can choose how you reactPosted 1 month ago # -
Jagged
offlineMemberHey Daisy, I totally can relate to the impatience. I go through bouts of it myself. But I totally agree with what Scott said, really needed that today as I'm having an impatient day today. It's true. Love DOES reward patience.
Stay strong and keep believing and working on YOU!
Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Amy
offlineMemberDaisy, that new years eve was interesting! I can't imagine a man who is satisfied with his woman showing up on another woman's doorstep new years eve. I can't wrap my mind around that concept. All I can say is hang in there; you never lost the faith, God bless you girl! You persevered; whatever you decide will be what's for your best. I loved seeing that post you had about him showing up suddenly. You did it all right Daisy.
"I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them."Posted 1 month ago #-
daisybo
offlineMemberWell guys the plot thickens and i could do with some advice! I asked my ex if he wanted to meet up for a drink, no response. So i thought he obviously does not care. I have gone away for the weekend and a mutual male friend of ours is looking after my house and dog. I was grateful for the offer. Anyway received an email from the ex today saying "all the people you could leave to look after the dog and you leave the areas biggest stoner. Ha ha." How rude is that! Feel like replying saying it is none of his business who i let look after MY HOUSE AND MY DOG! This is his mate he is calling and its not true. Grr!
Posted 1 month ago # -
Sunshine_9
offlineInactiveHey Daisy,
Honestly what is it of his business??? NONE - ABSOLUTELY NONE. He has the Audacity to send you that EMAIL??? Do not respond!!! He's looking for a response - he's only sent that to you to "get a reaction" DO NOT respond or reply. Fight every bit of impusle you have. I know - believe me I KNOW how hard it is to fight those impulses. The fact that they can STILL get to us, means we still have a lot more work to do. Remember the Emotional Control. That's when we DON'T react or really care about what they say to us.Daisy, just stay focused on YOU. His opinion means NOTHING!!! Absolutely NOTHING. Tell yourself that over and over again until you really feel it.
This too shall pass - this is YOUR time, don't let him come creeping in on YOUR time - thru emails or his unbelievable selfish thinking that he has a RIGHT to give an opinion on WHO, WHAT, WHATEVER you do in YOUR LIFE??? HAHAHAHA - don't give him that power - take your power back Daisy - you have it, you got that strength - just dig deep down and I bet you'll be AMAZED at the strength you have within.
Stay strong and be positive
Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago daisybo
offlineMemberI am laughing about it to be honest, i think he is jealous and i love it that he has lost control again. But i do feel like responding cos i dont want him to think i am upset. Not doing anything straight away although feel like saying stop spying on me, it is none of your business.
Posted 1 month ago #-
daisybo said:
although feel like saying stop spying on meYeah, it seems like he is playing hard to get, and he is actually stalking you.
What a clown!
You have the upper hand...keep it.
He is obviously hiding his true feelings...let him struggle with that for the time being...you don't need to do anything, he's doing it to himself.
Stay Strong!
Posted 1 month ago # -
daisybo
offlineMemberNothing else to report. Apart from I think i have reached another stage in my evolution-contentment. I actually feel calm and completely at ease with myself. I am happy with my life, I have dreams i am actively persuing. I am fitter and slimmer than i have been as an adult and am training for things i never thought i could do. I have amazing friends and a good family-and i am grateful for everything i have. My ex would be the icing on teh cake but you know what life is still great without him. I have forgiven myself for all the desperation and cock ups i made and i have forgiven my ex for the pain he put me through. I honestly think i have learned to love myself again. As for him, i know he still loves me, although i do not know if he will ever act on it. And at the moment that is enough for me. I have let my pain go but i feel his may just be starting.Especially as i know i could now let someone else into my life if i meet the right person. It has taken me 6 months to get this far, and i am excited to see what the next 6 hold!!
Posted 1 month ago # -
Scorchio2211
offlineMemberHey Daisy
I think that rather than wait for Mr Right, you should perhaps go out and find Mr Right Now.
It's funny really that having some one show you value can really put things into their true perspective. It focuses you back on you and makes you realise that the only person you can really rely on is yourself. Yeah, you're on your own whether you're in a relationship or not, and realising that takes the importance off of the other person.
Anyway, i still love you so you're pretty much made for life on that one!!!!!
Give a man a match, and he'll be a little warm for a minute. But set him on fire, and he'll be red hot for the rest of his life.Posted 1 month ago #
i'm so embarrassed! but flattered....thanks
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