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Daisybo NC Diary
(461 posts) (49 voices)-
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Posted 1 month ago daisybo
offlineMemberWell it took me long enough but I have thrown myself into the dating scene! And I have got a few blokes chasing me. It has done me the world of good and although I have not met anyone I would want anything serious with I have been having fun and being a bit of a minx in general!! Nothing on the ex, but apparently he is completely miserable. Ha sorry but I have been through so much pain, his turn.
Posted 1 month ago #-
daisybo said:
Well it took me long enough but I have thrown myself into the dating scene!Great Job Daisy! (Thumbs High)
Stay Strong!
daisybo said:
Nothing on the ex, but apparently he is completely miserable. Ha sorry but I have been through so much pain, his turn.All part of his evolution.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Scorchio2211
offlineMemberHey Daisy,
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Seems like you've taken a big step towards turning things round and i'm totally made up about it. It's nice when you start getting people showing you appreciation when you've spent so long getting none from some one who was supposed to love you.
Some fella is going to hit lucky and get a cracking girlfriend. I'm truly envious.
And hopefully, you'll actually find some one who is worthy.
I really wish you all the best
xx
Give a man a match, and he'll be a little warm for a minute. But set him on fire, and he'll be red hot for the rest of his life.Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago daisybo
offlineMemberAw cheers scorchy. We will see to be honest I am enjoying playing the field for now and not convinced I want a leading man at the moment. Also thinking of making some big changes, surfie has got me thinking and I have started applying for jobs In aus so a big move may be on the cards!!
Posted 1 month ago #-
daisybo
offlineMemberI have been updated by a friend about what happened a few weeks ago-when i got an email out of the blue from the ex who was annoyed that a mutual male friend was looking after my house and dog. Apparently, another mutual friend rang the friend who was housesitting to see what he was up to. He told him that he was at mine, but the other friend was sat with my ex at the time. He told my ex and apparently he went really wierd-that is when i received the email telling me off!!!
So it seems to me he is still not over everything, he still gets jealous. I think it still causes him pain.
But that was 3 weeks ago and I have not heard anything from him since. 7 months down the line I wish i could just stop thinking about him altogether and wishing things were different. I have moved on a lot but i cant forget him and i still miss him-although i am living a fulfilling life in general.
I feel like i should be stronger and that i should just forget him. How do i do that? I am looking into leaving the country, getting a new job and a fresh start. I suppose i can erase him completely from my life and surroundings. He ran away and maybe now that will work for me.
I am maybe just having a down day, i was so positive yesterday.
Posted 1 month ago # -
KC
offlineMemberHey daisybo you are having a bad day is all. But m sorry to say ur ex seems to chicken when it comes to love but at the same time wants to control you. I don't think u should pay him much attention. In some way I think he still thinks he can control u. Changing a country is not a solution. Slowly but firmly accept the fact that he is a coward and a bully and not worth ur time. Slowly start trusting you are much better and can have love again in ur life. See daisybo all the love that u gave him came from within u, so u should know that u can love like that again if it comes to that. Take heart and saty strong.
If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe
"When you respond to an unreasonable person by getting emotional, you give them victory. How do you manage unreasonable people? You dismiss them...Like shadows" David Viscott..Posted 1 month ago # -
daisybo said:
Also thinking of making some big changes, surfie has got me thinking and I have started applying for jobs In aus so a big move may be on the cards!!Excellent Idea!
It is not that you're running away from your past, it is more like you're moving towards your future.
There is nothing like learning to adapt in a new place with different people to make your survival instincts kick in.
I can't wait until I can travel...hopefully next year.
Stay Strong!
Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago LoveConquersAll
offlineMemberWell as they say better late (to reply/respond) than never...
daisybo - I was reading over a few posts on your NC and noticed that what Scorchio2211 said a week ago makes sense to me. I can't have what I am still calling my Mr. Right so I might as well have Mr. Right Now. Don't know about you but it takes me so long to meet (notice I said meet not find) someone I can truly relate to, want to spend time with and get to know him better. I have met someone like that...don't know where it will lead...a lot of guys have said "find you a lover" until he/the ex comes back...I can't do that but I do have someone that I enjoy spending time with.
Keep dating...it really does help.
-LCA
Posted 1 month ago #-
applesauce
offlineMemberYeah girl....I go
daisybo said:
Well it took me long enough but I have thrown myself into the dating scene! And I have got a few blokes chasing me. It has done me the world of good and although I have not met anyone I would want anything serious with I have been having fun and being a bit of a minx in general!! Nothing on the ex, but apparently he is completely miserable. Ha sorry but I have been through so much pain, his turn.I got in there a little ahead of you but it makes such a difference to your self confidence and ability to stick to NC. Less reason to cry over your ex when some other guy is taking you for dinner and making you feel special! Proud of you xx
Posted 1 month ago # -
applesauce
offlineMember7 months down the line I wish i could just stop thinking about him altogether and wishing things were different. I have moved on a lot but i cant forget him and i still miss him-although i am living a fulfilling life in general.
I feel like i should be stronger and that i should just forget him. How do i do that? I am looking into leaving the country, getting a new job and a fresh start. I suppose i can erase him completely from my life and surroundings. He ran away and maybe now that will work for me.
This I completely get. I'm in exactly the same position Daisy. Despite my big talk above my ex is still part of my thoughts every day. I'm trying to make a career move to business school in the US, partly in order to move on and change my life. These changes are about me but they will also help me move away from him mentally and physically. It's not just about running away though. It's about being true to yourself and what you want in your life. Make it a positive decision. You're doing really well.. Breakups are always hard, particularly when you didn't instigate it.
Posted 1 month ago # -
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LoveConquersAll
offlineMemberHey Daisybo.
I agree with the others...no need to send the NC message again...date, date, date. It really does help.
daisybo said:I am a bit confused....NC has been broken a few times....
From what I have read on your posts you have not broken contact...just met to discuss business...and you were ready to open the door to communication (hense you didn't fall apart when he didn't respond)...
Keep going you're doing great.
Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Surfiechick
offlineMemberHey Daisybo - great to hear that you are thinking of making some big changes but a word of warning - do it because its what you want for your future - do not do it to create distance between you and your ex.
I love my new life here in Aus - but it comes at a price. I miss my Dad and my friends and the things I did when I was in the UK. The upside is that I love this place, I am near my sister and her kids and when i meet someone who i want to have children with - this is where i would want to bring them up.
My advice would be to try it - if you have not been before - come for a holiday - or take a short term contract. I am firm believer in giving things a go rather than later regretting not trying in the first place - but please do it with your eyes wide open. I'm here to help if you are really serious and I can give you some good sites to find out lots of info. PM me if you want more details.
Stay strong Daisy - you're doing just fine!
you cannot choose how people treat you but you can choose how you reactPosted 1 month ago #-
daisybo
offlineMemberThanks for all the replies guys.
Yes Surfie I am very serious. I lived in NZ for a while, but that was nearly 10 yrs ago. I absolutely loved it. I have always been adventurous and just think this is the perfect time for another. My friend is even looking at coming with me too. I am confused by the working visa system but trying to get my head around it. I figure I can go for 12 months and if I don't like it I can always come back. I can rent my house out for now and then reassess.
I suppose it is sort of running away. I just feel like I need space and lots of distractions and new people to meet to move on from this. My ex is showing no signs of wanting me back or coming back. I have great friends but I would keep in touch with them. I dont feel like he is ever going to come back and i need to deal with that now and an adventure will help me plus i can get away from all the memories until i really am completely healed.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Scorchio2211
offlineMemberHey Daisy,
What am i going to do if you bugger off to Australia????????
The only solution is to take me with you. I fit into a suitcase and you can take me most places. (as long as i don't say anything)
Also, i'm a great distraction and i like kangaroos.
Perfect!!!!
Give a man a match, and he'll be a little warm for a minute. But set him on fire, and he'll be red hot for the rest of his life.Posted 1 month ago # -
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offlineMemberThats awesome news Daisy. Good for you! Nothing like an adventure to heal the mind body and soul and put things into perspective.
Go to http://www.immi.gov.au and do the visa wizard - it will give you an idea on your options. Then sign up for britishexpats.com/forum - any advice you need you can usually find someone on there who has been through the same.
Good Luck and I'll maybe see you on the beach
you cannot choose how people treat you but you can choose how you reactPosted 1 month ago #-
daisybo
offlineMemberCheers guys. I feel like fate is playing with me. Over the past few days I have made a decision to write my ex off and forget about him as he has shown no signs of making any effort. Today I saw him. We live miles apart now and I passed right by him in a huge city. He saw me coming and we looked each other right in the eye as I passed. It was so strange I hardly recognised him, he looked awful and a shadow of his former self. Really looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Posted 1 month ago # -
daisybo
offlineMemberCheers guys. I feel like fate is playing with me. Over the past few days I have made a decision to write my ex off and forget about him as he has shown no signs of making any effort. Today I saw him. We live miles apart now and I passed right by him in a huge city. He saw me coming and we looked each other right in the eye as I passed. It was so strange I hardly recognised him, he looked awful and a shadow of his former self. Really looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Rox
offlineMemberFate loves playing tricks on us. These things happen when we least expect them to. You decide to kick him out of your life and he shows up mysteriously! It's amazing. Maybe this happened today to test you. To test your feelings for him, to test his feelings for you, to test your strength, to help you decide what you really want. How do you feel about him now that you saw him?
It takes strength to fight, but courage to let go.Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago daisybo
offlineMemberI don't know Rox. My heart skipped a beat and I got that rush. I know that i still love him but it made me feel kind of good that he looked so depressed when on the whole i am really chirpy! I genuinely believe i am doing better than he is. I keep getting feed back that he is miserable and my life is pretty good at the moment and that makes me feel strong. Normally I would drop him an email to say that i had seen him when i drove past and sorry didnt wave but didnt notice til last minute, and is he ok, but i dont have that urge this time for some reason. I feel like fate is deciding what to do with us?! ha i sound mad!!! I am glad he has had a little reminder that i still exist!
Posted 1 month ago #-
dolcevita244
offlineMemberfate is a funny thing and just as you noticed your ex looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders I bet he noticed how lighthearted, carefree and good you looked! I'm sure that got him thinking about you all day. Isn't it a great feeling too when you don't have that urge to contact him???? I've had many moments like that and you feel so in control it's amazing. I'm struggling a little at the moment as I sent the NC message then my ex called (he hadn't called in 6 weeks), I didn't reply and now I find out after calling me he's been reaching out to his ex : ( it hurts but we gotta stay strong and reading how other members can do it inspires me to hold on strong too!
"From doormat to dreamgirl" we can do it : )Posted 1 month ago # -
ttwinkletoes
offlineMemberHi Daisy,
I read all your diary and your last entry.
There aren't any coincidences in the Universe. I'm sure you saw him for a reason. What that is I don't know, but I'm sure it made him think.
Would it be a bad idea to try to reconnect?
I hope it all works out for you.
Posted 1 month ago # -
daisybo
offlineMemberhey guys, twinkletoes it must have taken you ages to read all my diary!! well saw another mutual friend who was dripping me info although i didn't ask for it, luckily i feel strong enough to deal with that now. She said she has seen a few times recently and since we split she has not seen him laugh once, when he used to be so fun. She also said he had invited her and some other friends on a holiday but it was made clear that they new girl would not be going.
Think I need to give reconnection another go. I just don't know if he has the strength to do it, he sounds depressed which is strange as he was always so upbeat and full of life.
Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago ttwinkletoes
offlineMemberYeah it did Daisy. I only had three hours sleep that night. I was soooooo determined to get to the end!!!!!!
About your boyfriend being depressed. See this is the thing. People seem to assume that an ex has a whale of a time without their partner. In my experience that's not true. Now don't get me wrong, I've defo ending relationships and felt relieved so I certainly wasn't moping around. However, I've had enough experience of this kind of stuff to know that if the relationship was pretty committed and there were a few problems, then the likely hood is that the ex, although initially maybe quite happy, they are going to start to wonder after a while.
If you feel it's appropriate, and you do sound like you are in the right frame of mind, then maybe it is time to try. Good luck if you do !!!!
Posted 1 month ago #-
NewLife
offlineMemberTo be honest daisy, i think you should leave him alone for now. if he is depressed, only he can get himself out of it. im not a physchologist, but id say that he became really unhappy with himself a long time ago. at first he thought it was you and thats why he left you, but now he is realizing that it wasnt you at all and a new person, although maybe it was a distraction for him at first, didnt make him feel any better. he needs to "find himself", like you said, find that person again that was so happy etc. the wrost/hardest part is that there is nothing you can do about it. its easy for us to say that he needs to evolve and find himself like we are all doing and that he should start doing a new activity and start going to the gym etc etc, but you can not tell him to do that, he has to learn to evolve himself, and it will take time. how long? who knows? maybe he never will
Posted 1 month ago # -
NewLife
offlineMemberfor got to add that if you reconnect now, and he is in the middle of a depression, i think the best you can do is just be another distraction for his misery. he needs to fix his "insides" and find his innter peace before he should be with anyone else. and you should want him to be strong and happy and confident too before you want to get involved with him again either otherwise his unhappiness will wear on you. he needs to make himself happy, you cant do that for him. if it is just his new girl that is making him unhappy but he is not strong and confident and MANLY enough to take stance against it, is that really someone you deserve?
Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago daisybo
offlineMemberNewLife said:
im not a physchologist, but id say that he became really unhappy with himself a long time ago. at first he thought it was you and thats why he left you, but now he is realizing that it wasnt you at all and a new person, although maybe it was a distraction for him at first, didnt make him feel any better. he needs to "find himself", like you said, find that person again that was so happy etc. the wrost/hardest part is that there is nothing you can do about it. its easy for us to say that he needs to evolve and find himself like we are all doing and that he should start doing a new activity and start going to the gym etc etc, but you can not tell him to do that, he has to learn to evolve himself, and it will take time. how long? who knows? maybe he never willPosted 1 month ago #-
NewLife
offlineMemberi know what you mean. i feel the same about my ex. i remember how amazing she was. i had never met anyone like that before. i miss that. im still hung up on her too because of those memories/feelings. but i cant make her evolve, grow up...i tried when we were together, it doesnt work, trust me. it sucks, like i said in my diary, i seen pics of her last week where i didnt like how she looked and the way she was acting i wouldnt want in my life, but yet im still hung up on her too, i hate having this feeling. i want to so bad to be able to make her life amazing and happy, but i know i cant, she has to do that herself first. and to be honest, i have to make my life amazing and happy first too. so i know exactly what your going through
Posted 1 month ago # -
daisybo
offlineMemberOK I did something stupid. On sat my dog was ill and had to go in for an op. I was really upset and i got angry at my ex that he had the audacity to comment on how i care for her, and who looks after her when i go away, so i emailed him. It was a really short email just saying that the dog was ill and i thought i would let him know. Nothing else but not really much info. I know i wanted to make him feel bad, and i suppose i wanted comfort.
No response. My friend thinks he is in the depths of depression and is really low and cannot deal with me adding to it by making him feel even more guilty. i think i agree. i drafted another email to send him, what do you guys think??? this is it......
I am sorry for emailing you on saturday. I was really upset about the dog, I have been really worried about her and I have to take her back tonight but looks like she will need another operation. I know you understand how much I love her and i suppose i was looking for comfort. I also thought you would want to know.
I was really pissed off about the email you sent me when XXXXX looked after her. I could not believe you had the audacity to comment on how i look after her, or that you thought you had a right to comment on my life.
People have said that you are miserable and seem really down. I don't know what is true and what isn't and I don't ask. But I hope you are ok. If there is something wrong and you need a friendly ear, or if you fancy a catch up you know where i am.
.......or do i need to send NC message again???? i have been in NC for so long I don't really think it is appropriate. I should be aiming to reconnect, but i don't think he is ready. If things are really bad for him i do want him to know he can speak to me if he wants to.
Posted 1 month ago # -
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applesauce
offlineMemberHun, don't send that email. It sounds really bitter. SOrry to be harsh but you've come so far. You'll give him the power back if you show him he still affects you. Your text to him on Sat was the right thing to do....it's business when it's about the dog. If she needs another op I would just text him again and say, 'Hey, the dog is really sick. I'm going to take her in for another op tonight. I just wanted to let you know.". Keep to the facts.
No need to snd another NC. You're doing well....don't mess up by letting your emotions over ride you. OK?
Posted 1 month ago #
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