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My NC Diary
(69 posts) (15 voices)-
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Posted 2 months ago Anna
offlineMemberSo today after 3 weeks of tossing this concept around I realized it had to be done. I had to know for sure that I was either going to end up with him or not. I couldnt stay stuck forever. So today I finally sent it. He replied with Ok, I hate that word but it works cause at least he responded. Well today im happy with my decision tomorrow may be a different story but thats tomorrow i will worry about that then. Im really happy I finally made my move.
Posted 2 months ago #-
somethingtobelievein
offlineInactiveGood luck! Its my day 4 and its already getting better! But again, depends on the situation! In either case..we are all here to support you! Ha..atleast you got a reply back from him. Something is better than nothing. I got nothing. I dont even know what that means: "Okay! whatever I dont care" or "Okay I will respect that and not reply"...I like to think the latter one!
Good luck!!
Posted 2 months ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberWell today was day two and it wasnt really that bad. I thought about him this morning but that was only because i allowed him to enter my thoughts. So i took him out and started to wonder about what i was going to do today. Im very happy to hear from one of our mutual friends that he is upset by my sudden not wanting to have anything to do with him. She told me he came and got his hair cut from her. Something he had been talkin about me doing for the last month. I told him i wasnt gonna cut it, go to her and he kept thinking i was gonna change my mine. I won he had to go get his hair cut by her. ha ha. Anyways back to my good new, I guess he told her that i didnt want anything to do with him anymore then told her that i can now have all the time in the world to do whatever i wanted. Funny because he has been since we broke up a month and a half ago but now hes bitter cause the shoes on the other foot. All i could think was well isnt that to bad for you. To bad you cant have your cake and eat it to.
Posted 2 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 2 months ago Anna
offlineMemberToday is day three. It is already easier than I thought. I think it helps that I have been reading self help books to understand and start working on my self. I dont have much to say today but I left today to come back to my home town and im not sure if i will come home and his stuff will be taken out. One less thing for me to deal with if it is. It was a good day today.
Posted 2 months ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberIm on to day 4. Hard to believe I have made it this long. I got a text from him today regarding our cell phone bill. He sent a message, I told him the price and he sent another one thanking me. I never answered him back, it was hard but i know it is best for me. Hopefully tonight will be just as easy.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberDay 5
Today was a little harder. I was driving back home from my parents and he was on my mind. Only because I put him there. We control all our thoughts bad and good. I guess I wanted to remember him today. I quickly tried to change the thought and it was successful. Im gettin excited to continue with MY journey, I created a bucket list shortly after he moved out. I assume in any failed relationship there is always one in the end that is more in love or still thinking its going to change. For me it was 4 years I had been working towards bettering us, and he just thought I was the only one getting anything out of it at the end. Needless to say the bucket list was started so i could now focus on me. I have started to do things on my list, not that i couldnt have done them before, but before I was too busy working to get money to give us things to set up a future so they got sidelined. It was a difficult day. But its almost tomorrow so i guess i survived another day.Posted 2 months ago # -
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Anna
offlineMemberI did see it. It was a great movie. I thought that was the best option for me to figure out what I wanted to do, that was me and not US. Im on to day 6 today not even the first week since I left his life and he is dating a new girl.
Kinda set me back, our mutual friend told me today that he came to coffee holding hands the whole time then told everyone they were dating. I was bummed right out, but I just have to keep thinking hes mine and move on. I got so bad i actually re activated my facebook to see if he had changed his status. plus unblocked him from msn to see if he would talk to me. No talking to me on msn, and he hadnt changed his marital status to in a relationship so i deactivated my facebook again. Im going to have a rough day i think. Tomorrow was going to be such a big day for me. I have just got elected and nominated in to be the President of the board and tomorrow is the first meeting i chair as president. Think positive thoughts
Posted 2 months ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberSo its my first week down and I think I did not to bad. I got my key back to my place and he is coming to get the rest of his stuff tomorrow. I went to his house to pick up his key and his new womans shoes were on the floor by the door. eww but whatever. Im hopeing to stay strong. Im just feeling like hes pulling away from me. I flipped the switch and he walked out even farther. i dont like feeling this way. I just keep believing he is mine. and always will be
Posted 2 months ago # -
Todd
offlineMemberHang in there, Anna! A lot of people here have watched their exes hop right into another relationship, but it really doesn't mean much. He's probably trying to get back at you by starting to date her right away like this. Just work on yourself and you will become a more and more attractive person (both emotionally and physically). He will realize what he's losing.
Posted 2 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 2 months ago Anna
offlineMemberSo here is goes. Im very confused today and have no idea what im doing. I have pretty much figure out the my mutual friend to my ex is in fact not on either side but more in the middle stirring up shit. I am having a very rough night tonight. He was suppose to come and get his stuff today at 5 he called at 540 told me he would be at my house at 6, he called at 6 and told me he was going to be late im like thats not gonna work im going out. I messaged him, you can come get it at 9, messaged him back nope not gonna work change in plans. he told me ok well you text me when you are available. I text him at 11 i got no response. Im so mad at him i couldnt even look at him yesterday when i went to get my key. Im so upset that his new womans shoes were at the door.
Posted 2 months ago #-
riegs000
offlineMemberAnna you need to stop texting him right away. Send another NC message and this time no contact. I did it too, the collecting of belongings is just an excuse, makes it easier for him and harder for you. If he wants his stupid stuff he can find his own damn way of getting or buying some new shit. Either way its time to evolve not msg each other about his stupid stuff
be strongPosted 2 months ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberSo he is coming to get his stuff tomorrow and that will be the end of it. Im not sure what im doing, I met one of his friends he chose not to introduce me too while we were dating. Today she went for coffee with him and told him how annoying his new gf is and hes like oh yeah i bet if you met my ex you would think she was annoying then. I was thinking thanks asshole, Anyways tomorrow when he gets his stuff out im sending him another one.
Posted 2 months ago # -
riegs000
offlineMemberleave his stuff outside the front door and go for a walk or something while he picks it up, or any excuse to get away. Trust me. I hanged around whle my ex collected her stuff and i persoally went to her place to give it to her BAD IDEA!!!! all that happened was i wanted to jump n her not let her go. It doesnt work like that, you are too far confused and upset to face him. so get away. you will better if you do!
Posted 2 months ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 2 months ago Anna
offlineMemberSo i f'd up royally. Not gonna even lie. On Wednesday he messaged me to let him know when he could come and get his stuff. I was like 7 hes like ok so he and his cousin came by to get his stuff. I answered the door and said hey hes like oh we might as well sit and visit for a while. I was like ok sounds good so he sat down. I knew he was coming over so i made sure to have my jeans on and straighten my hair and had some make up on cause i was going out later on. He walked around my house checked everything out commented on everything he noticed. Through out the conversation and dropped suddle hints that i knew he had a woman. He told me he was gonna drink some of his juice i told him to take it he told me he would keep it here to have when he came over to visit. Anyways an hour and some later he had to finally get going because hes cousin wanted to get going. Lord only knows how long he would have stayed here other wise. So he packed everything up and then it came to this computer that is a hunk of junk but he refused to take cause he didnt have room. I told him i was sick of looking at it and he told me to put it in the closet. I mumbled under my breath to take it to Kaylas(his new woman) stopped him dead in his sentence he didnt know how to take it so continued on. Then he left. So i texted him thanked him for coming for a visit he thanked me for having them. I told him good times and he asked me what i said as he was leaving. I didnt remember talking to him as he left but i knew what he was talkin about. Im like i told you to take your computer. hes like after that. im like i told you to take it to Kaylas. hes like thats what i thought im like yeah lol. I tried to act as cool as possible because in my mind i thought if i over react it will push him away. if you tell someone not to do something they want to do it that much more so i just played it cool. Hes like so i guess you know. Im like yep hes like how did you find out im like oh our mutual friend told me friday after coffee with you guys. he was mad cause he wanted to tell me. I told him that it was fine and it was no reason to be mad cause i know and thats fine. He then told me " You look so good, i love your hair" Im like "Thanks" Hes like "yeah" Im like its me being positive "Hes like i can tell you are glowing" im like thanks. Hes like are you happy im like yep I have leanrt to love myself. Hes like i can tell hes like you stand with so much more confidence. Im like im happy you noticed. Then he went on to tell me how im a great person. Im still like WTF?!?! Anyways I got the MOMU book and it told me i should get out there so i signed up for a dating site. Well I cant run very far because my ex is on the same dating site and yesterday he was on. I was like omg you have just been dating this girl for a week and you are still checking your account hmmm that made my day because then i realized that it wasnt just me. Either way it was kinda dissapointing at the some time because under occupation he had his old job that he hadnt work at for the last almost six months and we have only been not together 2. Sorry for the long story but i had to tell someone
Posted 2 months ago #-
riegs000
offlineMembergood stick to NC this time. trust me itworks. A good example is that i used to wait night and day hoping to see a msg or call from the ex, now i hardly check my fone and couldnt care less. You have to understand the power of the NC msg. It isnt so much the words (every1 uses the same one) but the power of transfer back to you. If you tell some1 to piss off (which is kinda what you are doing) then slowly in your mind you will accept that. So you arent just resending the msg for no reason. In your mind you have feel like you got your power back. I visulise it as telling her to fuck off, i want my life back. I know that sounds harsh but you have to think like that.
Remeber stick to it this time. If you visulise that then you can get on with your evolution. be tuff, kick loves ass.Posted 2 months ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberIm going to stick to it this time. Its going to be easier his stuff is mostly all gone the rest of it is going to his parents im taking it there so its out of my life. I keep visualizing everything to keep me on track i have been reading so many self help books. I just hope that it works and in 6 months time everything will be balanced, regardless of whether he is in my life or not. I hate drama and this is just not cool. I think i may need to get rid of our mutual friend because just the sounds of his name drives me nuts. I think that may be a bad thing, but im just sick of analysing everything to death
Posted 2 months ago # -
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Anna
offlineMemberSo today i got a text from him it read "busy tonight" I never responded but it got my hampster wheel turning and i have a million things going on in my head. As much positive thinking i have done not one of the thoughts i had upon receiving this text was good. Its only the 5th day and i still have 3 and a half weeks left. If im even ready then.
Posted 2 months ago # -
riegs000
offlineMemberi dare say you wont be. like most people say it really is only after 2 month mark that things really start to happen. either they really start to make some reaches (actual ones not just gay messages) or you will really move on. i have 5 1/2 weeks left and i know i wont be ready by then.
keep going annaPosted 2 months ago # -
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offlineMemberSo instead of blockin and deleting him from msn i just deleted him. He can still contact me i just cant see when he is on. Less reason to message him or feel like i need to message him. Today he messaged me on MSN. this is killing me that he keeps messaging me. Im starting to feel that if i keep ignoring him he is going to just give up and move on. well he has moved on but i fear that he is going to just invest more time into her. I would just like to know what he is messaging me for. AHHHHH!! I have lost my focus again. Working on getting it back to me.
Posted 1 month ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberSo it has gotten so much easier not to think about my ex. He is no longer talkin to my friend that we have in common and she hardly talks about him. So heres the deal, At christmas when we went out to his parents and were both there. They told me they still wanted to have a relationship with me so i choose to go out this weekend. I think its going to be a blast. I just worry they will have met his new woman and that will make it akward. I called her last week and she sounded excited today not so much dont know how to read that but im going anyways.
Posted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberWell yesterday marked the 2 month anniversairy of my break up. Hear to beleive it was that long ago already. So much as changed, I love having my house back to mine, i come and go as a please. Im still a little upset at the fact that he is sleeping with someone else already, sundays are the hardest because they used to be the days we would sleep in and hang out together all day but now he does that with her. YUCK but anyways besides that, I dont think he has evolved at all yet or has even given himself the time so i dont think he will ever be at the same level as me, inless his new gf really bangs him up. Honeymoon phase ends and he will realize but i dont think at this point i even want him back. The last time i saw him i didnt even wanna look at him, he is just so irrogant and says things just to get a rise out of me. I think i hate him, I dont know how i let 4 yrs pass. Maybe im bitter today because im jealous of her because she has him, or im jealous of him because he has someone. How fair is that, he leaves me and hes not alone. What a dick. 7 days down
Posted 1 month ago #-
KC
offlineMemberYou are taking this very strongly anna. Just keep riding the wave and keep evolving.
If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe
"When you respond to an unreasonable person by getting emotional, you give them victory. How do you manage unreasonable people? You dismiss them...Like shadows" David Viscott..Posted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberI have lost track of the days. Today I feel much better, I have been having trouble getting out of my pity party. Its not that I have stopped my evolving, I just feel its no longer going to make a difference, he has told me countless times its too late, hes done and over it. I have tried to think of every negative thing about our relationship I could when I think about him to try and shift the thought. But we didnt really fight much, so there wasnt anything ever terrible to think about. Im mad that this was so easy for him. I spent the last 6 yrs talking to him every day and he could care less that im not speaking to him, cause he has someone new, who doesnt care about the socks left in every room of the house. I still hate him, but only because i wish i was like him. Unemotional and detached from everything because then this wouldnt hurt every day. Tomorrow is the start of a new week and I promise my blog entries will be happier I just hate weekends.
Posted 1 month ago # -
riegs000
offlineMemberhey anna its ok. Being angry is fine. I feel the same way, how my ex just doesnt seem to give a shit. But this is why scott gets us to send the message. so we can try breaking free. You should feel angry, it is part of evolution. Get as angry as you want. The key is what you do with it. If you spend week after week letting it get to you, you wont evolve. Get angry, then let it go. You will see, soon week after week it will slowly disappear. The fact is he has told you its over. So thats that. its over. But i guarantee that that is not the way it might end. But you have to get to a better place first. ITs like you have a mountain ahead of you and you have to climb,then everything will plateau out and you will alright again without him. It will all be behind you. Then it will all be clear bc you will be at a place of strength. Unfortunatly there is no way to speed this process up. You just have to go through with it. But you will come out on top if you let what is dead go. Ive learnt the more you hold onto what is dead (your failed relationship) the more you cant begin to climb the mountain. it might not make a difference to him (who cares if it does) but it will make a difference to you. so let it all go and then you can climb your mountain to a place of strength and peace.
good luck annaPosted 1 month ago # -
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The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberHey everyone. So today I met a guy I was talkin to on the internet. It was akward going out again but I eventually calmed down, I know this isnt really going anywhere because I know I dont really like this guy he is very in your face. Not even 15 mins after meeting me he was already kissing me yeah no, im not like that at all. It was nice to get out of my house but at the same time it was a bit much. Better luck next time i guess. At least i went out. Our mutual friend came over today she told me they had coffee together, he asked if i was happy and she told him that i was. I was quite pleased to hear he was talkin about me. He was feeling neglected by his new woman she was studying. Anyways he is finally struggling i hope he realizes now everything i have done for him. Not that I want him to come back because its easier financally but i think he will now appreachat me more. Struggle creates character. I dont feel bad for him at all. Its nice to know im still on top despite being alone.
Posted 1 month ago #-
riegs000
offlineMemberwell done for going on the date! that took courage when you are hurting. Keep gettign yourself out there, you are doing well. remember to keep focussing on your yourself and get your mutual friend OUT OF IT. If you have to NC her as well if she keeps relaying the info. BC it sort of breaks NC in a way. You dont want to know what he is up to or thinking at all. trust me. I know my ex's hotmail password off by heart and she hasnt changed it. It tempts me all the time to check it and see what she is up2. But that doesnt help me at all. your mutual friend is doing a similar thing, this is for your benefit, so dont worry what your friend thinks. keep putting yourself out there, you are doing well.
davePosted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberYes i do agree i may need to get rid of her for a while. I have tossing that idea around since i started because it really does nothing for me to know what he is doin all the time and him me. I will have nothig to talk about when the time comes to speaking again because he will know everything already. It is as if we are talking between her. I think im just gonna be picking carefully what i say around her for now and we will see how that works. Im not so much liking this dating thing everyone that is around my age i have a terrible time talkin to them because they are all still bar stars and have fun doing dumb shit and drugs. I have far more things on the go then that. And my date yesterday just proved it i couldnt have an intelligent conversation to save my life and all the older guys want is ass or marriage and i cant comitte to either.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberSo the last few days i have been out having fun. I went out on Tuesday night to the bar with some friends it was great. I havent been to the bar in ages. Stayed out super late and have so much fun. Then yesterday we all got together to get our bridesmaid dresses and spent the entire day at the mall. I have a great friend who asked me to be in her wedding and she is so positive its awesome to have a friend like her. It is getting better, im learning to let him go everyday. While helping her with her wedding it makes me wish, that him and I were planning ours as well or that I atleast seen it in our future. But that being said, I dont plan to go on anymore dates at the moment, its to soon for me to be putting myself out there just yet. Maybe in a couple weeks i will be stronger and be able to handle things better.
Posted 1 month ago # -
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offlineMemberhang in there wid ur NC, its been 4 months since my break up and 3weeks into NC, so all i can say is stay strong and enjoy ur friends wedding and try meeting someone new there,and ur guy will soon see thru his rebound relationship and miss u, maybe its some male ego thats stopping him from not contacting u, but stick to ur NC and enjoy urself
Posted 1 month ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberSo FML, Yesterday my dad was in and decided that while i was at the movies he would go out for coffee with my ex. I wasnt upset at all my dad and him got along fairly well and him talking to my ex has nothing to do with me. Plus i have a great relationship with his parents. Anyways that was fine and dandy my dad got to meet his new gf. Well today i was having a pretty good day, read lots of my self help book. Well we just had a new super walmart open first one in my province and boom guess whos in there with his new gf. Yep face to face with my ex and his new woman. I smiled lots and laughed with her and made small talk with her and never really talked to him at all. My friend hates her so i thought that maybe someone was wrong wit her. She seemed nice and i just kept my cool and before long my friend and i moved on. It was slightly awkard im not gonna lie. I just have no clue what to do now. Seeing him tonight really wasnt that bad. I think he is trying to make me jealous because he told me he knew i was there he seen my car so of course we were gonna run into each other. Im just happy i was wearing jeans. Im staying focused on me and seeing him tonight just proves he is still going to be in my life. Just eventually here to stay, I am enjoying myself to much for now.
Posted 1 month ago # -
MrEnte
offlineMemberGreat Work! You are really evolving and it seems you are very strong. Keep it up!
Bucket List is indeed a great movie, when you see those tow man laghing and making the best of each moment, is a really good feeling.
Any other inspirational film that you would suggest?
I dont plan to go on anymore dates at the moment, its to soon for me to be putting myself out there just yet. Maybe in a couple weeks i will be stronger and be able to handle things better.
Maybe you don't need to plan anything
It will just happen, sooner than you can imagine.
I kindly gave up to a date this week end, as I'm not totally 100% ready for it. Besides she is a nice girl and she has been chasing me for 1 year (she dissapeared when I was with my ex). Unfortunately I see her only as a friend, even if I told her once she keeps asking me out for coffe, dance or cinema... I Don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings. So, we gotta do things when we feel ready.Have a good day!
Posted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberToday was kinda a rough day, work wasnt to bad but my co worker is gettin kinda back together with her ex and it makes me feel sad. I think my ex is just emotionally detachted from me and he really doesnt ever want to come back to me. Well anyways, I have been sober for almost 2 months, not that i was a heavy drink but i just dont really see the need to drink. Tonight was two of my friends birthdays so i drove all of them to the bar. My one friend told me he invited my ex and hoped it would be ok. I said sure. I came home to call my other friend to let you know i was coming to get her and i accidently called my ex, they have very similar numbers and he was on my mind i was having a heartattack wondering if he was coming to the bar. Yep i called him and didnt even realized it i just though the man answering the phone was her bf and then he asked who it was and i was like me( how could he ask such a question i called from my house phone it was his house number for over 4 yrs you dont just not know the number and who it is) I looked down just then and i was like oh shit. Im like im sorry i never ment to call you. He told me it was all good and asked where i was going. I said sorry again and hung up. Oh i was doing so good i only had 2 weeks left of my NC and now i have to do it all over again FML
Posted 1 month ago #
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