*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!
My NC Diary
(69 posts) (15 voices)-
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberRiegs you are right it is just the start, i know i wont be ready at the end of the 30 days, i just worry the longer he is with her the better the chances of them staying together at. Although i really dont like the way she talks to him at all and the more i think about it the madder it makes me, but he wont leave her. He cant be alone he will have someone else lined up before this one ends. Hopefully me. Not holdin my breathe though i love being single.
Posted 1 month ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberSo Heres to hopeing the 3rd times the charm. I resent my NC message, I never got a response back but thats fine im not going to lose sleep over it. I came back this time with more determination then anything and im going to go down with out a fight. He can enjoy her company im going to be living it up and experiencing life outside of a relationship. Im pumped up and ready to go, this is going to be quite the ride. I think in the end of it all I will be happy all this happened just for the main fact that life is too short. Im checking things off my bucket list and it is feeling great im going to keep this energy through my evolving. Im happy to have sent my NC message again even if it doesnt effect him this time im just happy i have regained control over my life.
Posted 1 month ago # -
riegs000
offlineMemberwell done. Make sure that this is the 3rd and last time. No excuses ok.
Well done for hanging in there and not giving up. Take every day one at a time.
Take comfort in knowing that everything will be just fine.
Dont worry and get angry about him and his other lady. Just dont do it.
Now keep focussing on you and enjoy that single life. Some people find it easier to do at the start than others, but you will come right, I guarantee it!!!
stay strong and move on
Posted 1 month ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberSo today i feel much much much better about the whole situation. I feel less and less like i need to be with him. My want to be with him has most definatly decreased since talking to his mom. I have started hating him again for lying to everyone. But whatever. I joined the gym today, im pretty excited to work on me everyday. I have been reading Louise Hay books since the start and i have finally got the idea. I cant take his relationship with his new woman away from him. I just have to wait it out and see what happens and maybe by that time i wont care. im starting to get the feeling that probably not. He is being so fake with his new woman its sick and i just cant have a relationship with someone who i cant trust and lies about everything. I messaged him today to tell him that his phone bill will be out at his parents. I told him i had it and he asked when he could come get it i told him it would be out at his parents. I just sent him a NC message yesterday and it pretty much says fuck off. What made him think i would want him to come over to get it. Dumb i tell you Dumb. i just wish he could make the necessary phone calls to get off my bills and pay me and my dad and i couldnt have to see him ever again in my life. We can cut our loses and move on.
Posted 1 month ago #-
riegs000
offlineMemberits good that you are going through this anger stage but unfortunatly you are getting drawn into an emotional mud slinging match that is effecting you in a bad way. You have to just let it go ike i said be4. Go out with your friends, spend a day at the beach, river, mountains wherever and be at peace with yourself. For me it was the gold course with my dad and brother. I know exactly how you are feeling. You angry that he is still hurting you without even being in contact. But to start evolving you need to let it go. Scott said this many times on ppls diaries. The best way to let go is focus on yorself. music, places, friends all those things. It really is time to forgive and forget. unfortunatly you never get to that stage of not caring until you start letting the whole thing go. I tried to fight the whole process for 8 months and it only got me relationship limbo, you dont want that. try and elimnate the fone prob as best you can, even if it means you making the nessessary fone calls. The sooner you can get out of the anger nd frustration and onto a place of acceptance the sooner you can fin some1 better.
You can do it AnnaPosted 1 month ago # -
Rox
offlineMemberAnna, I feel that this phone bill is starting to be an excuse to keep contact. He's taking advange of that to keep communication with you opened and it's pissing you off. He's not dumb, he's playing. It seems to me it would be much better for you if any of you would find a solution for this and make the necessary arrangements so you stop the lines of communication opened because of this issue.
I have a shared bill with my ex but I feel contacting him about it is in a way breaking NC. He knows he has to pay for it, but if he doesn't contact me about it, I won't either. I'll just pay for it this month. I don't know how it is for you, but for me it's not an amount that would justify contact so it's no biggie really. Next month he can pay for both months. I agree with riegs. Make the necessary phone calls yourself if that takes care of it. He doesn't have to worry too much about NC cause he expects to hear from you every month about the bill and he'll twist things and play dumb so he gets what he wants - see you, know what's going on with you, etc. Anna, get rid of it.
You've said it yourself after sending the 3rd NC message: no excuses! And well done for sending it again
It takes strength to fight, but courage to let go.Posted 1 month ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberIm still sticking to my guns I am truly fed up with him. I have been to nice this whole process and he has taken every opportunity to throw it back in my face. I have told him he has to call sasktel to get of my bill and that he has to go to the cell phone people and get them to get him off my account i gave him all the papers. This is just ridiculous. Im really excited though tonight. One of my salons clients i have been cutting his hair for a while probably almost 3 yrs and he found me on the dating site that I am on. Its so exciting for me cause I think he is pretty cool. Im so pumped. Its about time things are going so well.
Posted 1 month ago #-
riegs000
offlineMemberTHATS A WAY BETTER MINDSET TO BE IN ANNA!
thats what you want. forget about the anger and frussration and all shit and go have some fun. The MOMU book states this is one of the most important aspects of NC. thats going and out and having fun. and the fact that you are pumped and looking forward to something is by far the best frame of mind to be in. If you stay in this mindset things will keep going well for you. Like i said so many times be4 its time to let go, and have some fun. good luck for tonightPosted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberWell today went really well. Im still enjoying life. I hung out with our mutual friend today. Im still slightly upset about the new gf but that is only because of how she treats him. Even in front of me. It just kinda sucks for him because I can remember what we were like in the beginning and I just dont see it there. He is a great guy I just feel bad for him. Nothing I can do about it I guess so, I just had to put it out there so that I dont have to think about it. Either way I am really excited about a lot of things. He messaged me tonight, I got excited but I never messaged him back.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberSo I have done a lot of thinking since reading Steves whole email story yesterday and yes he royally screwed him self over, after reading his ex gfs response. I felt as though it was my ex telling me everything I had done to him and it was no longer about me but the big picture of how the more i withdrewl from the relationship, he as well would but I was only noticing his. I have thought about our whole relationship together and how I just always assumed he would be there regardless of what i did or didnt do. Im proud of him for finally setting me straight. I know that in the end of it, if I want a relationship with him or someone else that I need to be in it for the both of us not just me. I kinda always knew i was taking him for granted but it wasnt until i read her response that i finally realized, what it was I had done to him to get us this far. I just hope that with in time he will no longer resent me for making him feel that way for so long.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberSo this weekend i went out to my ex's families. It was so much fun. His parents love me and still want me to be part of their lives regardless how their son and my situation. That makes me feel really good because I really like being around them. We spent 5 christmas' together so his mom doesnt want to lose me in her life, Im the daughter she never had. I had such a good time out there, they invited me back in two weeks to go to his great grandmas 101st birthday. Its so exciting that they still accept me. I also heard today that my ex and his woman have already broke up but got back together. Kinda makes me feel better to know that im not the only one struggling to get my life back in order. But i also love myself more every day and i enjoy every aspect of my life. And im just on an intense high. Nothing is bringing me down.
Posted 1 month ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberToday was a great day. I had an awesome day at work and the evening was a blast. Went out for supper with the girls and bought new shoes. Im really excited for Friday. The Valentines day movie is coming out. So us "single" girls are going to buy our own stuff valentines day bears and are taking them to the theatre to watch Valentines day. He was on my mind a lot today but it doesnt really bother me anymore to talk about it with people. I was most worried that i would lose his family and i didnt so im able to just keep doing my thing and moving on. I am really happy with myself that i have allowed myself to feel this good again without him. I still care about him, i just dont love him or have him on his pedisal anymore. It feels like the heart ache is over and the blood is flowing through me again. Im alive and refuse to waste anymore time, engery or though worrying about what he is doing, who he is with and over analysing everything. I can smile again and not feel guilty. Im so happy i found this website when i did. Everyone on here is so great. I like that I have somewhere to go when the bottom falls out. Hope everyone is gettin out to enjoy some of there new freedom. Stay Strong and Love yourself first.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberSo Life has been pretty alright on this end. Im having a blast I go out all the time. I still hear things about him but it doesnt really bother me anymore. He is just being dumb but not my problem. Im starting to loosen up about things and its great. I laugh all the time and have fun just doing whatever. Im so much better off without him. I would like to thank him for leaving me and allowing me to go through all this for me to realize that I can live my life the way i want to and giving me the oppurtunity to have a great time with my life. Im not lookin forward to the bad days but im enjoying the good ones.
Posted 1 month ago #-
riegs000
offlineMemberwell done anna, you are now on the right path. You should go have a look at your first few posts to your last one. Now you just need to keep focussing on you and those good days. Coming to the stage of acceptance and forgiveness for yourself and him is the most important step. thats when you move on to a happy place.
good luckPosted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberSo today he messaged me with "hi" he would never say hi as far as i know so i think that it is his woman on his computer. It shocks me because he would never let me near his computer or most definatily not his msn for crying in the sink. YUCK, but none the less I never messaged back. It more so pisses me off. Im still having a great day, this hasnt effected my mood or the need I feel to continue my journey of gettin my life back. I just think hes dumb for staying with her when she already dumped his ass. But what am i talkin about i wasted 4 and some years with a man who could never commite to me. Life is great today, and all is well in my life.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberSo today is the day. I have been waiting for this friday for weeks. The girls and I are gettin dressed up and buying ourselves our own Valentines day bears and going to the movies. Im so excited, its going to be fun. Before I would have never done anything for the chance of embarrassing myself. Now I dont really care what people think of me im just out to have fun. Tomorrow is hate on Valentines day with Monster trucks. Its gonna be a great day. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Posted 1 month ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 1 month ago Anna
offlineMemberso heres to the bad days... I havent had many of these throughout the last two months but this one has most definatly made up for the lack there of bad days. Today I was in the backroom with one of my co workers who i have started to hang out with a lot. I thought we were kinda close, I was in the middle of an emotional roller coaster with my break up but she needed me so I put my emotional baggage on the back burner and tried to be there for her. Spent the night at her house, went over all the time so she wouldnt be alone and then today happened. She had found this joke on msn and we laughed forever, I messaged it to my mutual friend and thought my ex would love this joke. I told her I should send it to him but i cant. So she volunteered to send it and we laughed cause he wouldnt know who it was. Yes immature of me I have gathered that. Well sending one joke to have a laugh for a little while resulted in her texting him for over two hours while i was at work with her. I am so un impressed i told my manager i was quiting my job because i wasnt going to have her messaging him while i was at work with her. My manager told me i couldnt quit because of that. I was shaking for almost an hour. I was unsure what do you scream, beat the shit out of anything or cry. I told her i was pissed that he continued to talk to her for 2 hours implying that I was also mad at her because she was the one i told everything too and now she goes and adds him to her contact list on her phone. Who does that... I have no idea what to do. I am just plain out mad. Yes i asked for it by giving her the number, and im still asking for it by thinking about it and gettin mad over it but this is supposed to be my friend. I dont have any friends and this pisses me off.
Posted 1 month ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberWell I am happy to say I have regained some of my emotional control. I am really uncertain at all why I want him back at all anymore. I cant trust, rely or even look at him anymore. For the longest time I seen great potential in him and tried to make him see he was worthy of everything he ever wanted but he could never see himself in the same light. I worked so hard at helping me and gettin him on his feet and it was convient for him so he pretended for a long time because it was comfortable. Well all I can say now is... I am loving all this extra attention of have for myself and I can now put all the energy in the world to make myself see that I am worthy of everything I want and that i dont have to settle for less. And right now he is worth less then I will settle for. I am feeling great with how far I have come. It still kills me to see where he has ended up with his "spreading his wings" but it is getting easier to spend less of my day thinking about it. He who cares the least controls the relationship. or lack there of. Im almost certain that as of right now, if he was to want to come back now i would tell him to go **** him self. I have realized that I need more then what he can offer to me right now. I just dont know why I still love him, not my failed relationship but him. Im happy im not in that toxic relationship anymore. But how can you love someone you hate?
Posted 1 month ago # -
KC
offlineMemberYou are still hurt and you feel you need some closure, some answers, probably that is why you think you love as well as hate him. Give it some more time and you will get better with all of this. Love does hurt and it is tough to forget sometimes but you do forget. Today is our anniversary, the first one if we had stuck together, and you know what I didnt remember it at all until I checked my phone calendar for something and saw I had put in a reminder on it. Or else, I wouldnt have thought of it. But somehow it made me happier that I didnt remember at all. It felt better that I could forget somehow. You will get there too.
If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe
"When you respond to an unreasonable person by getting emotional, you give them victory. How do you manage unreasonable people? You dismiss them...Like shadows" David Viscott..Posted 1 month ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberOk so i havent wrote anything in almost a week. It has been quite the week but to sum it up. My exs greatgrandmas birthday was this weekend, his parents invited me out because hes family still likes me and wanted me to come. So I told him mom i would be done on Saturday. I called friday night to make sure everything was still on and then she told me that my ex and his new gf were there and were staying for the weekend as well. So she told me she still wanted me to come and my room was still reserved and ready for me to get there. So I went... I think I talked to his new gf more then i did him. I dont much like her but thats fine he does. His mom and I got dressed to go out and he wasnt impressed with my outfit but that was my plan. His new woman was on edge the whole time i was there, constantly looking to make sure i wasnt talkin to him or looking at him. And she was all touchy feely and stuff i never let it bother me. I was doing my hair to get ready for the birthday and he gave me the head nod. lol he still thinks i look good. And he smiled at me before he left. He has done an entire 360 but when im around its still only about 180, he doesnt smoke infront of me, he still makes all the same jokes and i still laugh, she thinks there dumb and doesnt find anything he says funny. He is too far gone at the moment and I have realized that after with weekend and spending 2 days with them that she can have him. He is faker then fake and im just gonna ride the wave and enjoy it. His whole family commented on how good i looked and how much they miss me. His grandma told me she prays every night that we get back together, she all so told me to kill the bitch. Im not ready to let him back in at all. In fact after spending the weekend with him I really dont know what I can possibly like about him. I acted cool, I hope he knows I dont care. I guess I should start my 4th NC, Damn it!
Posted 3 weeks ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 3 weeks ago KC
offlineMemberI don't think u need to semd him anything this time. Just vanish and do your own thing. Just keep loving yourself. What u did is admirable, how u handled being around him for 2 days. Its great. Keep doing what pleases you. We are gunning for you girl.
If you can't handle me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe
"When you respond to an unreasonable person by getting emotional, you give them victory. How do you manage unreasonable people? You dismiss them...Like shadows" David Viscott..Posted 3 weeks ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberIt really wasnt that bad. She was on her guard the whole time i was around. I didnt sit in the same room with them hardly ever. I never really talked to him because I knew she would be looking for that. In my mind nothing i was going to do out there was going to make anything better so i just went out, was myself and left them to do there thing. His grandma told me that this to shall pass and it will so im just giving it everything i have to get everything in my life in place. It took a lot out of me but I wasnt going to not go to a 101 birthday. In the end I did what made me happy and that was to see his family. Thanks KC, I take your words to heart and im bowing out. Its been a good ride so far so im gonna keep givener.
Posted 3 weeks ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberOk so after having a few days to think about it, I have most definatly realized my faults in how I have approached this and now note that I am only making this process take longer then it needs to. I understand that he has moved on and I get that. I am just starting to feel as though I am actually moving on and I'm really excited when i think about it. I started my bagpiping lessons today and Im looking forward to that. I think its going to be great and get my mind off him. Plus I no longer talk about him to everyone. I also called his mom and told her I was sorry for bitching to her about her son and it was just my insecurities gettin the best of me. I am thinking and looking at the bigger picture. Yes i have made great progess but im going to push it to the limit and see what i can really do with all this time i have been given. Thanks everyone for keeping me on track or pushing me back on when I do stupid things. Good Luck to you all. Dont do what i have done.
Posted 3 weeks ago # -
Anna
offlineMemberSo I find im no longer living on here to survive the day and its great. I took old pics of us together, my promise ring, his stuff and gifts he gave me through the relationship out to his mom. Shes holding on it it for me just incase in time i want it. But it feels great not to have to look at it. I am all so having an easier time living in our apartment now that everything is moved around. Yesterday, I hung my first picture on the wall,I have lived in this place for almost 5 yrs and had nothing hanging on my walls. I have been so happy lately, and it feels great.
Here is were my issue starts. So when me and my ex first started dating he introduced me to a family friend, he had been a friend of my exs older brother for like 10 years. Well recently we started hanging out and going for coffee, we have the same days off. Well at first it was like once every week, then twice a week, then we started talking about going to vegas together in may for his cousins wedding, now were hanging out 5 out of 7 days a week. and he messages me, which is kinda weird. The problem being I think I may kinda like him, and the part that confuses me is that I always kinda in the back of my mind thought he was a great guy but not my guy. So now i dont know if he can be my guy or if im just trying to fill a voy. Oh yeah i forgot to mention, hes my exs roommate
Posted 2 weeks ago # -
Proceeds Help Support Our Forum
*Earnings Disclosure - If you click on this banner and make a purchase, I will be paid a commission.
The proceeds will help maintain my free Blog and Forum. I Thank You for Your Support!Posted 2 weeks ago Petvet
offlineMemberThat's really admirable that you've come such a long way, you could go to a party and have your ex and his gf there, and even talk to her! I don't think I could ever do that in a million years!
Is this new guy your exes current roomate, or past roomate. If he's a current roomate, I would be careful about getting in a messy situation. Theres potential for you to start seeing your ex alot at your new guys house/apt, which could be dangerous. I know for me that would be torture, and I would probably go home sick everynight.
In fact that did kind of happen to me and K when we were in college. We had broken up for a while, but I was friends with Ks roomates and would still go over there to "party". Not a good choice. Very emotionally sickening.
Then he went to England to study at Cambridge. While he was there he realized how much he missed me and asked me to marry him (called from England). I guess while he was away it was kind of NC. I still have all his letters he wrote me from England (30 years ago)!
Sincerely, Petvet.
Posted 2 weeks ago #-
Anna
offlineMemberSo I have changed my mind about the room mate we went out tonight to the lounge and i introduced him to my friend and he likes her now, kinda hurts makes me really miss my ex but thats cool too. Im not sure where i am supposed to go from here so im going to just keep doing what i have been doing. Dont have much to talk about tonight.
Posted 2 weeks ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.